Monday, January 9, 2012

A Strong Faith

Youth ministry is my thing. It’s my passion. I have a heart that can’t help but to listen, heal, and just be present. When I ask people to describe me in one word I get answers like innovative, determined, relentless, crazy, and full of life and love. My motto is “Go Big or Go Home!” and everyone knows it! People who I have formed relationships with have thanked me and let me know I have impacted their lives. They tell me they felt the Truth and Love of Jesus because of me. They say He works through me.


But I have my secret, I have struggled with my faith for all my life. I live with a dark past. About a year ago I admitted that dark past, took the necessary steps to deal with it, and for the first time in my life Believed and felt the closeness to God I make others feel. It was an emotional moment. Do you have any idea what it feels like to cry for the first time since grade school? I always managed throughout my life to stumble forward and grow even in the midst of pain and danger. But over the past 10 months growth and wisdom took off and never stopped accelerating. However, at the same time...


The moment my deep belief and trust in God started, the moment I said “God I am your servant, heal me, show me, use me” everything went to hell. Sickness, financial problems, surgery, unsafe living situations, and worst of all no one to help me.


For 10 months after each terrible occurrence I boldly called out “God I believe, God I trust!” My faith DID NOT waiver, my trust was strong. I felt incredible, I felt strong, I felt the presence of God. God was Real = Love was Real. NOTHING could shake me.


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