Before I get used to or forget the feeling.
Losing your God and becoming an atheist feels like someone slicing you open with a knife and slowly gauging out vital organs. There’s a whole bunch of people watching the violent act but instead of doing anything to help they keep yelling at you.They keep asking “Why you are letting this person do this to you?"... as if you had any control. You shamelessly beg but no one will hear you, no one will help you.
The scariest thing of all is, after the attack is over and you standup with what you thought were vital organs missing... as in you NEED them. But you don’t need them. How can this be? I should be dead. Everyone told me I would be dead.
The moment you say the words “There is no God”, absolutely nothing changes... Except you feel better.
Becoming an Atheist is euphoric. It is the most incredible feeling I have ever felt. The entire week before my “epiphany” I could feel it happening. I was afraid and cried for hours a night for God to allow me to believe... BUT when it happened, it was nothing like I expected.
I wasn’t mad at God. I wasn’t mad or bitter about life. I didn’t turn from God like a disobedient child who didn’t get their way. I felt this incredible power inside me. This voice screamed out, “you can do anything”. It was at that moment I was NOT AFRAID for the first time in my life I FELT NO FEAR. I realized I don’t “need” anybody else. I have the power to do and be whoever I want.
When it happened I quietly whispered “There is no god” And then I could fly.
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